June 2012
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Whenever someone follows me:
ARE YOU LOST
ARE YOU SURE
DID YOU CLICK THE FOLLOW BUTTON BY MISTAKE
DID SOMEONE PAY YOU
DID MY MOM SEND YOU
ARE YOU MY MOM
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girl: i'm having vagina surgery
boyfriend: i know
girl: i love you
boyfriend: i love you too
after surgery she wakes up and only dad is there
girl: where is my boyfriend
dad: who do you think gave you the vagina
girl: what
what the fuck did i just read.
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My dad just emailed me this huge list of puns oh...
I changed my iPod's name to Titanic. It's syncing now.
When chemists die, they barium.
Jokes about German sausage are the wurst.
I know a guy who's addicted to brake fluid. He says he can stop any time.
I stayed up all night to see where the sun went. Then it dawned on me.
This girl said she recognized me from the vegetarian club, but I'd never met herbivore.
I'm reading a book about anti-gravity. I just can't put it down.
I did a theatrical performance about puns. It was a play on words.
They told me I had type-A blood, but it was a Type-O.
We’re going on a class trip to the Coca-Cola factory. I hope there's no pop quiz.
Did you hear about the cross-eyed teacher who lost her job because she couldn't control her pupils?
Broken pencils are pointless.
I tried to catch some fog, but I mist.
What do you call a dinosaur with an extensive vocabulary? A thesaurus.
I used to be a banker, but then I lost interest.
All the toilets in New York’s police stations have been stolen. The police have nothing to go on.
I got a job at a bakery because I kneaded dough.
Haunted French pancakes give me the crêpes.
A cartoonist was found dead in his home. Details are sketchy.
The earthquake in Washington obviously was the Government's fault.
Be kind to your dentist. He has fillings, too.
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School: I'll do this shit at home
Home: I'll do this shit at school
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dbsk: hey i just met you
dbsk: and this is crazy
dbsk: but here's my number
dbsk: so call me maybe
dbsk: LOL JKS SORRY YOU'VE GOT THE WRONG NUMBER, SO DON'T CALL ME NO MORE.
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May 2012
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coepi:
things i am scared of doing:
ordering food in a restaurant
walking down a busy high street on my own
talking to people on the phone
eating in front of people
asking for help in a shop
meeting new people
being in a big crowd of people with a lot of people i don’t know
the future looks bright for me
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warning. making a gmarket review. do not misunderstand, this is simply to gain some credit LOL
/i usually do these everytime i order but ive been so lazy i havent done any in ages…. anyways..
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